You're being given a police escort directly to Pleasuretown. Bottoms up!
That’s about all you need to know. Sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words.
Vodka (I prefer Russian Standard, shown in the photo) + Cran = Cape Codder
Vodka (1/3) + Cran (1/3) + Champagne (1/3) + Lime (until overflowing) = Cape Todder.
Shake well, serve over ice in the largest, fanciest glass you can find. Cheers!