…I see food and I eat it.
Last night after getting back home from a long night at the Blind Pig, I decided a French Bread pizza was a requirement before going to bed. What I didn’t do was eat it. It sat in the oven all night on 425 degrees. I think I am lucky to be alive right now.
New on Blue Tractor’s menu… 1/2 lb patty topped with pulled pork, bacon, smoked cheddar, and fried jalapeño chips.
I need this. That’s in bold because I really need it. Add this to the list of things you will see me eat very soon.
I’m pretty pissed off right now. Like, Mel Gibson not getting blown before the jacuzzi pissed. I was at the grocery store the other day and I noticed that Stouffer’s has some new Corner Bistro meal options that come with a stuffed melt and a bowl of soup. Perfect, right? I can’t think of a better lunch than soup and a sandwich. I decided to pick up three of the Chicken Bacon Ranch Melt with Loaded Baked Potato Soup options, mainly because they sounded and looked rather edible. Delicious, even.
Try reading this description and tell me it doesn’t sound like it would make your lunch break at work at least 38% better:
“Herb-topped focaccia bread filled with white meat chicken, bacon and swiss cheese and a buttermilk ranch sauce, paired with creamy loaded baked potato soup”
So today I decided I was in a soup and sandwich kind of mood and remembered the frozen dinners I had bought. Three short minutes in the microwave, and it was time to feast. To my complete dismay, this is what I found..
Stouffer's New Chicken Bacon Ranch Melt and Loaded Baked Potato Soup
At this point, I felt like punching Stouffer right in the face. What the hell kind of meal is this? The “stuffed melt” was the size of a deck of cards, and the “loaded” baked potato soup tasted like a bowl of cream with cheese and three ridiculously large slices of potato added to it. Thanks for reminding me that this is a potato based soup, Stouffer. Also, that bowl may look large in the picture but it has about the same depth as a petri dish.
Thanks a lot Stouffer. I’m not going to get into burying you in rose gardens or setting your house on fire or anything like that, but we are taking a break due to the shittyness that you put into this box and allowed to be sold to me at my local grocery store. I hope you feel bad for completely ruining my lunch.